Augustus Fink-Nottle

Gussie Fink-Nottle is now available for engagement as master prize-giver in the Norwich area. Tickets to Gussies events are virtually unobtainable - there is a 23-year waiting list - and it is widely acknowledged that his orange-juice fuelled monologues are the stuff of legend.

Gussie is indeed one and the same as the newt-raising genius renowned throughout the civilised world. You might have heard of his well-known and widely-published tome 'Newts In the 21st century', which has been critically acclaimed by nearly all newt-loving folk in the NR5 area. Having a somewhat convoluted surname, he is often represented by the ubiquitous surname of 'Smith'. Gussie resides in central Norwich, and is one of Future radios most avid listeners/supporters/contributors.

Gussie is rumoured to drive the worlds oldest white van, as he likes to do his bit for the environment, and said van is gradually returning to the earth whence it came, a bit at a time. Modesty forbids GFN from elaborating on his abundant talents, which encroach on the extraordinary, particularly in his principle capacity as a window cleaner. Along with his erstwhile colleagues, Bernard and Alma, Gussie is rumoured to possess quite extraordinary physical properties in the form of incredibly long arms, without which he would be forced to use a telescopic pole for his window-cleaning escapades.

Gussies musical tastes are varied, eclectic and ever-changing. Current faves are Emiliana Torrini, Chew Lips, Ugly Duckling, The Editors, Kings of Leon - this changes from week-to-week, just to keep the future DJ's on their toes.

The nom de plume also allows Augustus to pursue an alleged interest in newts, particularly their lifestyle and breeding patterns. He would gladly welcome discussion and correspondance on this fascinating topic, an example of which duly follows:

Newts are of the Pleurodelinae subfamily - family Salamandridae, to be exact. Newts metamorphose through three distinct developmental life stages, including aquatic larval, terrestrial juvenile, and aquatic adult. Tragically, a 29-year-old man (no relation to Gussie) in Coos Bay, Oregon, who had been drinking heavily, swallowed a rough-skin newt Taricha granulosa for a dare. He died later that day despite hospital treatment. A timely lesson to all those who choose to keep their pet newts in the bath!