Dave & Confused feat. Andy Palmer
- Thursday 6:30-8pm
Dave and Confused with Andy Palmer, AKA Dave Helsdon and Oli Franzen and Bernard Stringer, wind you up for the weekend previewing the best drinking and live music Norwich has to offer.
To get you in the mood they'll be spinning the finest classic cuts of 60s soul, disco and driving rock. The lads also focus on the legends that have shaped their worlds but are denied the exposure they deserve on commercial radio. Expect to hear back-to-back tracks as well as the history and legends behind gods like Led Zeppelin, the Rolling Stones, Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder.
Dave 'The Professor' Helsdon will also give listeners food for thought by giving his weekly hot tip of breaking national band and every week you can hear comedy sketches courtesy of Normal for Nofolk's Andy Palmer
21:14 minutes (12.63 MB)
Another dazzling multipack of cuts from the Dave & Confused (ft. Andy Palmer). As it's that time of year where Confused likes to take some time out to explore his ant heritage, Bernard does his best to sub for the sultry singster with a George Michael cover with mixed results, Dave reveals the most effective way of removing a wart and the team run down the top 40 for all you pop pickers.
36:21 minutes (21.62 MB)
More delicious droplets from the Dave & Confused comedy drip tray, poured into a Podcast shaped jug and transmitted straight to your lugholes using technology and that. On this week's show : Andy reveals his all new, totally original Minidisc shuffle challenge feature and Confused has a steamy romp through an 80's classic which makes Bernard feel all funny. Plus more hilarious banter, bickering and buffoonary to brighten up your day. (Oh, and while you're at it, take a trip over to Facebook and join the Dave & Confused Page for more assorted bits and bobs).
30:55 minutes (17.75 MB)
Another bag of bits from the Dave & Confused show, like a lovely radio sandwich which has been cut into corners, some of the corners taken away, the remaining corners cut into eighths, the bread taken away leaving just slithers of beautiful pink, quivering pure comedy ham. On this week's spectacular : Bernard receives a homemade colonic and Confused steams up the studio with his rendition of wee lil' Prince's song "Cream".
25:24 minutes (15.45 MB)
Dave & Confused are away this week so Andy Palmer has been entrusted with the keys to the show. Treating this huge responsibility with the respect it deserves, he's proffered up a calvacade of culture for your expectant ears and hardly gets up to any hi-jinks at all. For shame.
29:48 minutes (16.85 MB)
Another high-larious Podcast edition of the Dave & Confused show, crushed, ground and pulverised into a concentrated comedy paste. On this week's show : Confused performs another steamy reading of a rock classic, Professor Bernard Stringer wows the team with his sexy astronomy knowledge and you'll find out the complications of having secret liaisons with a large pile of agricultural waste. It's out of this world. For more chuckles and chat, why not pop along to the Dave & Confused Facebook page and pledge your support?
32:14 minutes (18.81 MB)
Another collection of highlights from the Dave & Confused show, all bagged up in a Podcast for your comfort and convenience. On this week's show: Confused gives a steamy rendition of a Grace Jones classic, Bernard remembers the infamous Panda swarm which descended on North Walsham and reveals his new gameshow : Guess-the-name-of-the-North-Walsham-resident-who-shares-the-same-name-as-a-famous-person-from-history. And if you enjoyed this, why not join the Dave & Confused Facebook page for all the past Podcasts and other assorted treats!
40:57 minutes (24.95 MB)
Another selection box of audio treats from the multi-award winning Dave & Confused show. Unfortunatly Dave falls into the moat ten minutes into this Podcast, so Andy & Confused bring in Bernard who needs some help filling in his census, and he's also promoting his charity to assist Norfolk pensioners who get lost in 'That London'. And if all this free entertainment wasn't enough for you, why not join the Dave & Confused Facebook page?
42:22 minutes (24.41 MB)
The edited highlights of the Dave & Confused show, chopped up and turned into one of those new modern Podcasts that the young people like. This week's extravagaza sees bungalow enthusaist Gordon Bungalow plotting to build the world's tallest bungalow in Dubai, which attracts the attention of british acting heavyweight Colin Firth. In a Future Radio exclusive, Colin can reveal that the sequel to "The King's Speech" will consist of him playing swingball atop the giant Bungalow with Adolf Hitler (played by Jeremy Goss). Oh, and Aretha Franklin is in it as well.
42:39 minutes (24.16 MB)
More highlights from the Dave & Confused show, boiled down into an incredibly tasty comedy stock. This week's choice cuts include Andy & Confused downing a large quanity of imaginary ales (plus a glass or two of Bernard's wee), and the News and Boot Sale roundup both make a return! And if you enjoyed this podcast, why not join the Dave & Confused group on Facebook?
19:44 minutes (12.07 MB)
Another delicious selection of comedy treats from the Dave & Confused show. This weeks highlights include: App developer George Manchester dazzling the team with his selection of Norfolk based apps, Bernard promoting his Zumba class and inept escapologist George Shoulder is still suspended from a crane high above the studio. Will he escape? What music does Bernard Zumba to on a Friday? Which app will help you avoid the endless puddles of vomit on Prince of Wales Road?
36:44 minutes (23.25 MB)
36:35 minutes (22.5 MB)
Another mixed bag of delectable treats from the Dave & Confused/Dave & Andy/Magnolia/Beige show. Our special guest this week is chinese latern and panda microwaving expert, Chrissy Wardrobe. You'll find out if Billy Ray Cyrus will make it into work, why Noah is the baddest boy in the Bible and which fascist dictator is the best at reading football results. And if all this free entertainment wasn't enough for you, why not join the Dave & Confused Facebook page?
33:21 minutes (21.19 MB)
Another mixed bag of delectable treats from the Dave & Confused show, with all of that indie music filtered out to produce pure podcast gold. Confused returns from his safari, incensed by the sheer crassness of the wildlife. Michael Solution, the Suffolk Ninja, faces Bernard in a series of intense physical challenges.
37:35 minutes (21.44 MB)
Another selection box of nutritious nuggets from the Dave & Confused show, with all of that indie music filtered out to produce pure podcast audio crystal. Confused is still on safari so it's up to Dave & Andy (don't look in his eyes) to stimulate your various senses this week. Fortunately they have Bernard Stringer on hand to deliver no less than three stonking songs, he's also brought along Tyrone Battery, World Champion of the party game/Olympic sport Pin the Tail on the Donkey to give a practical demonstration of this most noble of art forms.
25:30 minutes (14.07 MB)
28:42 minutes (16.96 MB)
38:27 minutes (22.67 MB)
Dave, Confused and Andy are back together again! Will they manage to rescue Bernard from his 48K Spectrum prison? Will he celebrate his freedom by playing a selection of his greatest hits plus a brand new song dedicated to the royal couple? Will Confused manage to get through the letters section? Will the tantalising and succinct “Dirty Pictures” feature makes a return? Some of these questions might be answered in this ground breaking edition of the Dave & Confused show.
32:09 minutes (18.31 MB)
37:27 minutes (22.48 MB)
Join Dave, Confused & Andy as they restrain from murdering each other in this week's variety spectacular. Even though the star of the show, Bernard Stringer, has been imprisoned within a Spectrum 48K computer, the show is packed tighter than a jar of pickled herring with hilarious treats. Guests include Tony Springsteen and his all Ant Orchestra, Graham Penalty and his collection of hand dryer recordings and Sir Keith Dylan brings in some rude pictures of naughty ladies. And if all this free entertainment wasn't enough for you, why not join the Dave & Confused Facebook page?
25:26 minutes (14.76 MB)
Bonus Podcast! Dave & Confused are away this week so Andy has been trusted with the keys to the show. It's a light-hearted affair this week, as Andy brings us factoids, gags and details of some of his favourite deaths. There's an exclusive interview with dead beatle John Lennon, the Elephant Man and Andy is confused by the Singles chart. Will he get through the show without causing an international incident? You'll have to listen to find out.
43:32 minutes (13.61 MB)
Another delicious selection of comedy treats from the Dave & Confused show. This week's show is dedicated to pens - except the green biro which is evil, and should be melted down to inky soup. Bernard trawls through the letters page of the EDP, and Confused rounds up the last of the year's Car Boots. And if all this free entertainment wasn't enough for you, why not join the Dave & Confused Facebook page? Just search for "Dave and Confused" in your Facebook search bar.
44:39 minutes (30.25 MB)
42:07 minutes (28.7 MB)
Plenty of chuckles and cachinnation from the Dave & Confused team, in the world's first 3D comedy podcast! Confused relives the nightmare of undergraduate scurvy, Andy reveals how he got on auditioning for "The Weakest Link" and tends to his fat lip in two entirely unconnected events, and Simone pops in to discuss moth metabolism in the all-new sparking letters section. Add some Bernard and a Boot Boot! or two, and you have an absolutely magnificent podcast. Which this is.
40:17 minutes (27.95 MB)
What a scoop! On this week's edition of the Dave(d) & Confused show Andy reveals that the show is rife with corruption, part of a huge song-fixing scandal! Hollywood actor Russell Crowe pops in to discuss his latest project, "Weaverfish 3D" and not forgetting the Car Boot Sale Roundup. That not enough for you, you greedy greedy person? Check out the Dave and Confused Facebook page for more fun and giggles.
32:12 minutes (18.35 MB)
Take a hike Dreamworks and Pixar, the highlights from the Dave & Confused show (or is that Daved and Confused?) are now in glorious 3D! Do not be alarmed as Dave, Confused and Andy leap from your headphones and tickle your ears with their hilarious rambling. This week we are launching a competition to win the much coveted "Peter Cook Talks Golf Balls" VHS tape, Confused shares Roger Daltry's views on trout fishing, and not forgetting the Car Boot Sale Roundup. That not enough for you, you greedy greedy person?
21:34 minutes (12.47 MB)
More highlights from the Dave & Confused show, boiled down into an incredibly tasty comedy stock. This week's choice cuts include some vintage Bernard, poo powered cars in the news, the boot sale roundup and all your favourite features. And if you enjoyed this podcast, why not join the Dave & Confused group on Facebook?
39:39 minutes (26.61 MB)
More highlights from the Dave & Confused show, boiled down and recycled into podcast form. Andy & Bernard are away this week but Bernard has left two cracking tracks, plus the car boot and film roundups. If you enjoyed this, why not join the Dave & Confused Facebook Page?
32:02 minutes (20.72 MB)
More highlights from the Dave & Confused show, cut down and processed into delicious sugar-coated comedy crackers. This week is the boys first outing on the fresh new and pure 107.8 frequency, although it looks like Bernard is still stuck in old frequency, swirling in the vortex of radio limbo. Let's hope they can rescue him in time to hear Bob Rudling raising awareness of the effects of global warming on Owls.
25:29 minutes (16.51 MB)
More highlights from The Dave & Confused show, condensed down into podcast form like some tasty comedy milk. This week sees Bob Rudling meeting the lesser spotted Sea Chicken, Bernard sings of flat car battery woes and there is a cautionary tale of close combat air rifle usage in the news. If you enjoyed this, why not join the Dave & Confused Facebook Page?
35:59 minutes (20.92 MB)
More highlights from The Dave & Confused show, pieced together into podcast form like a tasty comedy casserole. Confused shows some ants who's boss, Bob Rudling pops in to chainsaw an otter or two and we learn about bulldog resuscitation in the news. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not join the Dave & Confused Facebook group?
30:11 minutes (17.21 MB)
More comedy gold from the Dave & Confused team, squashed down into podcast form like a can of corned beef. Sadly Confused is away this week so no booty roundup, but Bernard is in with his Eurovision entry and a song lamenting the loss of Norwich's riverside area to chavvy hooligans. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not join the Dave & Confused Facebook group?
31:41 minutes (18.86 MB)
More comedy gold from the Dave & Confused team, condensed down into podcast form like a delicious soup. This week we discuss slug eating in the news, Andy reveals how many times he managed to fail his driving test and Bernard is back with his guitar and a mobile phone the size of a brick. And not forgetting the car boot roundup. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not join the Dave & Confused Facebook group?
28:33 minutes (16.4 MB)
More comedy gold from the Dave & Confused team. This week's highlights include Bernard's World Cup Anthem for Scotland, tazered spectators in the news and some fisticuffs at the end of the show. Plus all your favourite features, the car boot and film roundups. While you are listening to this, why not join the Dave & Confused Facebook page?
33:34 minutes (19.42 MB)
More comedy gold from the Dave & Confused team. Featuring Bernard's classic track "Battered Sausage & Chips", some parrot related chat and revelations about John Bonham's special flight arrangements. And not forgetting the News, Car Boot Roundup and all your other favourite features!
30:23 minutes (17.19 MB)
More comedy gold from the Dave & Confused team. This week's titbits of chat include how Bethnal Green has gone all 'Nathan Barley', volcano gags and amorous slugs. Bernard is stuck in Iceland so Bob Rudland fills in with a lawnmower hunting expedition. Plus all the usual Car Boot Sale and Film roundups!
Bernard Here, with the second in my ground breaking science series.
Last week I explained how I regularly travel through time using a Hula-hoop, a washing machine and an electric oven.
This week...Anti-Gravity in your Conservatory.
We all love conservatory's dunt we? "Look at the Easter Cactus!", "If I stay still that Blackbird sometimes comes just inside the door Beryl." These are the sort of conversations we've all had in a conservatory. Now you can have them whilst floating about, weightless.
Hello, thas' Bernard here with my first in a new series of science specials!
Now, we've all heard of that flickun' Hydron Collider in that Switzerland hent we? As if there hent enough to worry about in life without fidlun and fartun about with the worlds largest and highest-energy particle accelerator! Well, let me tell you this, I dunt need a 20 mile hole to explore the deepest laws of nature. I've been do'un it for years boy and all I've been using is my washing machine and a rabbit. And you can too!
REUTERS NEWS AGENCY (FACT):-
Bernard Stringer is said to be distraught after it emerged that Dylan, the rabbit playing Oscar Wilde in Mr Stringer's ambitious stage play of the life and times of Oscar Wilde is actually a she. His play 'Rabbits of the Wilde Frontier' is due to begin next month. Never before has a play about the life and times of Oscar Wilde featured an all rabbit cast.
Would you like Bernard to bring a man eating tortoise that can say 'Natalie' on to the Dave & Confused Show?
Hullo darlun. Thas Bernard hare, here, hair? Here! Now I am delighted to announce details of a stage play I have written and am directing. Now, I dunt like the theatre, last time we went to the theatre we had to turn the car round just as we arrived at the carpark cos my wife, bless her, started screaming 'Bernard! I've left the hair straightners on! Turn the car round!' Stoopud woman, why she uses hair straightners is a mystery as she's totally bald. All her hair fell out when her sisters tortoise went on a rampage and ate her Grandad. The shock caused her to go bald.
I have lost count of the number of letters I get from members of the public each week, asking me on tips on taming Swans on the Broads, so to make life easier I'll publish a Swan Taming guide on this here blog.
How many times have you been out on the Broads when suddenly your arms go numb or you get lazy and don't feel like rowing any more? Hundreds I'd say. What's the first thing you do? Yes, try to tame a swan. Not easy though is it? Not as simple as you think. Well, follow my guide and it will be boy.
Hi, my name is Bob Rudling, yew can call me Robert. I have been living and working on the broads for 57 years. I would like to start this blog by talking about the rare Pygmy tribes of Hickling marshes.
Known locally as 'Vermin', the ancient tribe have lived amoungst the reed beds for a million years. Long before there were reeds infact, long before there were broads, why they didn't move is anyones guess, but probably because they were, and still are, very very stupid.
Ever wondered what life is like aboard Hitler's Wherry? Ever pondered what happens if you put a rare broadland flower called Yellow Bigamy up your bottom? Ever visited a pygmy tribe living amoung the reed beds of Barton Broad? Ever interviewed a Vampire living in a How Hill windmill? No? Well Bob Rudling has! And now, exclusive to Future he will be bringing you a new Norfolk countryside show. Bob has been living on the broads for 70 years, he learned to walk on the broads, he nearly drowned, but perfected a way of walking on the lilies.
Quite incredibly two thirds of the Dave & Confused show have come down with a bizarre medical condition called Bells Pasly in the last few months. My how I mocked Confused's contorted features, cruelly caling him the Elephant Man. Oh how I laughed at the way he was unable to close his eye, having to tape it down at night to avoid it from drying out. Oh.....oh? Oh no!, I've now got it!!!
I've been looking at posters and what not going on about somethun called 'Norwich Pride'. Well let me tell you, I am a 62 year old former factory worker from North Walsham and there is no one NO ONE prouder than me. I want to march too! Why? I'll tell yer..
1. I am a proud bigot.
2. I am proud to never have tasted curry or been to Greece (where 'uts from).
Well I'm havun a lovely morning, took my tablets, put my shirts in at 30 degrees quick wash, put the bin out, put the milk away, had a stroll to the post box, killed a gypsy....no I'm only kiddun' yer... I din't rarely put the milk away!...The wife does that....so...
Well what mornun! What a mornun'! I have just spent 3 hours at the Police Station on Bethel Street convincing them that 87 year old Grandmother of 5 Joyce Medler is not a Nazi. "How did this happen Bernard?" I hear you cry. Well let me tell you boy, let me tell you. Joyce called up asking for a lift up to Sainsbury's to get a card for Brenda's birthday, now you may remember that Joyce can't get about anymore and her mobility scooter has mildew and won't budge.
Please, people, I'd love to hear from you!